By Your Side
Hey guys! My name is Erin Pinter and I was a participant on LOG 78 (*clap*), Care Leader on LOG 86 (*clap*) and Co-Leader of SOS 2017 (*clap*)! This coming fall I’ll be a freshman at Ball State University! I’ll be studying Elementary Education and can’t wait for my next adventure! I was first brought to LOG by a group of three of my friends and definitely locked all the doors as the ran out to my car on my participant. However, now when I run out to the cars of kids and see the terrified looks on kids faces as they second guess ever getting in the car, I think back to my participant and remember all that God has done for me since my time in LOG.
When I first came to LOG I was a no touch, no hug, and no singing in a circle kind of gal. In fact, I wasn’t sure I even believed in God. I had recently lost my Grandmother and in those few months of her illness I remember multiple times I would bargain with God saying, “If you’re really there then don’t take my Grandma.” I swore this would work considering one time I prayed I’d have no cavities when I went to the dentist, and in fact had no cavities. What I didn’t realize is that even in those dark times, when all seems to be at lost, God is by your side.
This LOG blog season we have been focusing on the Beatitudes. When I was first asked to write about the Beatitudes I struggled with what to write. But what I wasn’t thinking about was how the Beatitudes can accurately describe moments from my life. My Junior year of high school I struggled with depression and severe anxiety. I found myself having no energy or will to do normal and simple tasks and found myself turning to unhealthy coping methods. Even going to a LOG meeting felt like a chore. Trust me, I love LOG so that was hard for me to comprehend.
When I think back to those times I almost find myself cringing. Rather than turning to God who was there for me at my darkest times, I found myself finding other, unhealthy, ways to comfort myself. I wasn’t turning to God even when his word says, “Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew 5:4) What simple yet powerful words he gives us. After over a year of therapy I finally found myself in a place where I didn’t have to think twice about whether or not God had my back. When I was little I pictured God as this big, powerful (so powerful he was frightening) guy. Now, I see God as a best friend. As high schoolers it’s extremely easy to put God as a second thought, especially in times of trouble or tragedy. It’s not until we are able to trust fall into God where your faith is strengthened. There were many times throughout high school in which I had lost all faith. But it’s in those times of need, the times of hurt, sin or sorrow in which we need God the most. He’s the one person in your life that will never leave your side. I found comfort in knowing and believing that God will forever be with me.
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